How to Handle Fear in Troubling Times

Oops! It’s me without my Clarinet!⁣

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Also, this is me, pre-quarantine, as all the restaurants are closed in my state. Crazy! ⁣

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If you are reading this post, you probably follow me on Instagram as I record my 100 days of practice challenge. Today is Tuesday, and it is my longest day! I work at Starbucks, then I teach lessons, and go straight to bible study. So, I did not practice today, but I still wanted to post!

How are you holding up while quarantined in your house? Are you getting stir-crazy, or are you loving this little break from life? Cabin fever? Or still working on binging all of Netflix? Maybe you are sick, and afraid you might have the virus! Wherever you’re at, it seems to me that we are all in a similar boat.

This time in our lives seemed to creep up on us so suddenly, but bad things never seem to happen gradually. I have been having a lot of fear lately, from how quickly this virus is spreading, to how our world and economy might look down the road in result of this. It’s hard to pretend like everything is okay when we are all feeling this in some way or another. ⁣

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As I share my musical journey with you guys, I also want to be real about who I am with all that are following! I am a follower of Christ. I love Jesus because he took my sin to the cross and gave me life, all because he loves me. I am nothing near perfect, I still make mistakes every single day of my life. I am just as human as the next person. ⁣

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I had fear starting this account because of what people might think of me. I had fear posting my first practice video because of how I sound versus how I could sound if I were studying at a conservatory or playing in a professional orchestra. But, I am not there. ⁣

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The reason I share my faith with you here is because I think it’s taboo in the music world to be open with where we really are at with fear. I believe we as musicians deal with fear everyday of our lives.⁣

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We fear we are not good enough to teach our students, not good enough to be playing in an ensemble, fear we might not get that audition, or that we are not making our professors and teachers proud. Even fear of not practicing enough is a huge burden looming over our heads constantly! Honestly, it is terribly draining. ⁣

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Through all of this fear and worry we deal with internally on a daily basis, to now, where I can almost guarantee everyone on the planet is a bit fearful of what we are going through right now, there is still hope. ⁣

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We are given the gift of community, and that humans naturally need human connection to go on, therefore we will never give up on striving for that. I believe in the hope of Christ, and it brings me comfort knowing that He holds my life in His hands, no matter what despair this earth brings. ⁣

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Sometimes it is still hard for me to remember that in times like this. But, it’s all I have at the end of the day. Even when I have fear for the tiniest things like teaching a new student, or starting an Instagram, Jesus cares about my problems, big and small. ⁣

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So, how does this relate to COVID19, or clarinets, you say? ⁣

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Well, as much social distancing we do to keep healthy, I believe we can still be a community despite this crisis! I am already so grateful for this clarinet community I have joined! I am loving that we can still find joy in our craft, and by connecting through our music and social media.⁣

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I also think it is a great time to be vulnerable with those who are around us, and find comfort in knowing we are all going through some crazy stuff right now, whether it be sickness, isolation, anxiety, loss of a job, fear, or whatever it may be for you today.

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So let’s be there for each other! Let’s lift each other up and encourage each other throughout our ups and downs! ⁣

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Feel free to message me if you need to chat, or have questions, or honestly anything. ☺️ ⁣

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Day 12 of practicing will happen tomorrow. Promise! 😊